JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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