sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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