Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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