It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
