can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
