Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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