do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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