day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
