He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
