bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm always down for nudity.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
