you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
