Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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