Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
