but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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