Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
