Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
