at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this will be a night to untag.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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