I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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