Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dignity is for republicans.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
