Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
