nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
