hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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