You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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