dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
