Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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