That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
