32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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