p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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