Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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