Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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