I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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