can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't turn off my feet"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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