all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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