what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
