I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
