Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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