i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
