can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
