does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Vodka?
Forever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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