This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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