Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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