She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
