rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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