i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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