Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
