You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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