This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
So. Much. Porn.
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