Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We left the knife in your bed.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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