the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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