I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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